FOUR STEPS MAINTENANCE PLAN TO HELP KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOING STRONG
There’s a little work involved in happily ever after.
Early on, relationship is easy, everything is new and exciting. You go dates, take trips, spend time together and internationally cultivate experiences that allow your relationship to grow. Then somewhere along the way, life happens.
One study on married couples in their 30s and 40s found out that their marital quality declind over the the course of a year, in terms of love, passion, satisfaction, intimacy, and commitment. Too often people shrug their shoulders and convince themselves, this is just how it goes.
Switching to relationship autopilot feels justifiable short on time, low on energy and must focus on other priorities like careers and kids. This is when doubt can creep in tempt you to hit the reset button. But maybe you are being too hard on a perfectly good relationship.
Every couple experiences ups and downs and even the very best relationship takes effort. Rather than getting out, its time to get to work. Whether your relationship is already stuck in a rut or you are trying to avoid ending up in one, most people need to focus on what happens between I do and I don’t want to be with you anymore.
As a relationship scientist, I suggest the following four psychology research-based strategies to kick off your relationship maintenance plan.
1. USE BOREDOM AS A PIVOT POINT:
No one raises their hand and says ‘’ sign me up for a boring relationship’’. But boredom serves a purpose. Like your phone indicating your battery is low, boredom is an early warning system that shows your relationship needs a recharge. At different times all relationships experiences boredom. Psychology researcher Cheryl Harasymchuck and collegues have explored how people react for example to turn things around when you are bored, do you fall back on things that are familiar and make around the neighborhood? Or do you choose growth enhancing activities – like going for a hike on a new trail in an unfamiliar park to mix things up.
It turns out that study participants preferred growth enhancing activities when they were bored, and when given a chance to plan a date, they incorporated more novelty into those outings. Rather than resigning yourself to boredom inevitability. This is just how relationships are – use boredom as a call to action.
2.KEEP DATING RATHER THAN WAIT FOR BOREDOM TO STRIKE YOU AS COUPLES WOULD BE WISE TO BE MORE PROACTIVE:
Its as simple as continuing to date. Early in relationship, couples prioritize in most thing such as outings, playing, praying and many more but eventually begin to coast just when the relationship could need an extra boost.
To recapture that early relationship magic, couples should engage in new challenging and interesting activities. Rather than sitting and starring at your phones.
MOVIE NIGHTS NOT LOOKING TO DIG OUT YOUR OIL PAINTS?
Here is a lower key option; grab a spot on the couch and have a couple movie night. Over some months, Researchers asked some couples to watch and discuss a romantic comedy. Too often people wait for something to break before trying to fix it. Adopting a maintenance mentality can more proactively help your relationship.
Wish u a happy marriage!!!